the-starship-enterprise:

College interviewer: So, what made you want to attend our university?

Me: I just….I just want her to be proud of me

Interviewer: Aww, are you talking about your mum?

Me, thinking about Elle Woods: haha yeah

bro its beddy-bye. its nighty-night, dude

uglynewyork:

normalregularguy:

if you ask a girl on a date she might say yes

You deadass?

loveserum:

anyways. When can I start screaming

nakedmallrat69:

neptunain:

to catch a bus you have to think like a bus

#run late and smell like piss

gaycactus:

people who use baby naming websites:

- expecting parents
- trans people changing their names
- writers
- that guy outside my dorm room who was arguing with his buddy on whether the name Zach was in the bible and then very loudly announced that “behind the name dot com says its biblical in origin so fuck you”